where is she?

Every once in a while I ask the kids,"Where is mei mei?" in a curious and thoughtfully-questioning sort of way. I am so curious about what she looks like, smells like, feels like. This is different than preparing for a biological child to arrive, even if it's your first. If you are preparing for a bio kid you have your own baby pictures to look at and wonder about,"will she have my eyes or yours, will she have my personality or yours?" This, though, is a total mystery. When I think about our mei mei all I can picture are other Chinese children that our friends have adopted. It's a weird thing, but just part of it. When I see a Chinese woman out and about I think of what she will be like when she's 30. Amazing! She will have a chance to be who God has created her to be and there is HOPE in that.

About five years ago I was in a mom's Bible study and we studied and memorized the passage below. It has stuck with me more than just knowing it or logging it away. God has known from the beginning of time that this little mei mei will be in our family and all about her. He knows the struggle her biological family is in and the reasons why she is waiting for us. HE knit her together like He did for a very specific reason, to be used to bless and help others just how she is. She might be missing some fingers or some toes, she might have trouble seeing or have a weak heart, but He knows and He has a purpose. We are blessed to come alongside our little mei mei, as well as our bio kids, in guiding them to fulfill their purpose and live our their passions to glorify Him!

Psalm 139:1-17

You have searched me, Lord,
 and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue 
you, Lord, know it completely. 

You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. 

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
 Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there; 
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
 if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
 your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
 for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;
 you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
 your works are wonderful,
 I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
 when I was made in the secret place,
 when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed body; 
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
 before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
 How vast is the sum of them!